Finding the Words

Usually it comes so easily.
  The words just flow.

But, this thought has not yet
  formed well on paper,
  so I need to try once again.

The thought that evades my attempts
  at description is also the experience
  that eludes my understanding.

It is the experience of knowing
  and not knowing, simultaneously.

It is witnessing my soul and my person respond
  in totally different ways to the same situation,
  simultaneoulsy.

It is sensing the profound wisdom of my soul
  even as I watch my self plunge into confusion,
  simultaneously.

Yes, that's it.
  It is the separate and unique,
  yet indivisible nature of the soul and the person;
  each with a voice and a choice,
  yet both, one.

It's really an incredible dance to witness.
  I am amazed and enthralled,
  excited to watch, and frustrated
  with the extent and limits of my 'knowing'.

So, there's this moment in time when my spirit
  shares with me a 'knowing', like an alert
  to pay attention.

This is the moment when the distinction
  between my person and my spirit
  becomes evident.

My person reacts to the new situation
  with big emotions, classic.
  These emotions are often out-of-sync,
  occurring prior to the event itself and
  with a seemingly undue force.

Then spirit speaks, and I see 'it' all with such clarity.
  That's the moment when I feel suspended in time and space.
  I 'know', I can see 'it'...All.

Yet, even as I encounter the All,
  my person is grappling with the big emotions
  and dancing to the music playing on her heart.

And as my person engages in the dance,
  my 'knowing' dissipates as my spirit
  steps back to watch 'it' unfold.

I am relishing this incredible moment
  when I can see 'it' All, and am fascinated
  to watch it fade from view.

I am aware that the 'knowing' must give way
  to allow the experience.

I am excited and enthralled by what lies ahead,
  and feeling bound once again to this mortal,
  yet entirely spiritual, experience.