The corkscrew
I see this corkscrew
winding up and down.
It is solid in that it
is ever present, and
winds only up and down.
The essence of this corkscrew?
It is the core of me,
not the spirit from which I was born
for nothing can contain that spirit.
No, the 'me' to which I refer
is the being into which I chose
to be born...the one named Kristen.
The core of me contains the lessons
and questions and gifts I brought to this life.
The core of me is the reason I am here.
And corkscrews, as you know, are spirals.
Turning them, they move up and down,
because, you see, life is a spiral.
Life is not linear. That sense of linearity is merely
an illusion caused by the pull of gravity upon this flesh.
No, energy and life moves in spirals.
And that is how I experience my self in this life.
New situations, encounters with new people,
alight in me familiar responses, feelings, struggles...
And, when I catch a breath from living
that particular moment, I recognize
once again
the core of me is present,
endeavoring to learn, to understand,
to heal, to reach out and forward...upward.
Sometimes, I move upward on that spiral,
feeling the joy of having learned or healed
in some small, but significant way.
Other times, I slide down the spiral.
Sometimes, I dangle precariously from the end,
crying out in pain as my strength to hold on diminishes.
Funny thing is, even when, or especially when,
my strength gave way and I felt myself falling into the abyss,
I never did.
I was always securely held, loved.
Even the falling is part of this experience of life.
And, it is not the end, no matter how horrible
it feels in the moment.
It is, rather I believe, me slipping downward on the corkscrew.
And, tomorrow, I will slip up again.
Despair doesn't last forever,
and neither does happiness,
for they are both merely emotions.
Joy however, as my father said,
lasts forever, surpasses all things human,
holds us steady through all
and greets us when at last
we emerge from the spiral
that is this particular life.
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