Time, an Ally; My Self, the Healer

21 September 2012

On this,

the anniversary of my brother’s passing,

I recall that for many years, the months of

September - November have been difficult for me.  

During these months, I have experienced

all of the major losses in my life.

It’s been 12 years now,

since the last loss shattered my life.

The pain and horror attending those losses

ravaged my heart, mind and soul

through many of those years.

But, time has passed,

and the jagged edges of the losses have smoothed,

in part perhaps because, like the drip of water on stone,

the steady passage of time slowly and persistently

permeated my hardened heart, broke loose the

decaying fragments of sorrow, and

washed them forever away.

There is more to the story,

though, than the simple passage of time.

I believe time was my ally, but not

the creative hand in my healing.

Its calm and resolute march into my future

steadied me through the convulsions of pain,

and gifted me with the opportunity to fully explore

and experience both the events bringing destruction

into my life, and perhaps more importantly,

the dark corners of my soul calling

for my attention and love.

These words are not meant to be the answer

to the questions that wake you from your sleep, or a salve

to the nightmares that visit you in the bright of day.

They are reflections only on my own journeys,

and a loving hand reaching from one to the other

to say that, healing is a gift offered you from this nightmare.

But healing can not come over night, for it requires that

you seek deeply within your self for the wounds

it has opened and the wisdom it offers.

So, time is your ally.

It will continue to patiently and

tirelessly march forward, offering you

another opportunity, and another, until

you find your way to healing.