Follow the Light

I thought my epic journey was of this world.

I learned that it is inside my self.

Journey of the Soul Embodied

A year and a half ago,
  I walked out of my house,
  last box in hand,
  and gave the key
  to the new inhabitants.

In the year leading up
  to that moment,
  I had rid my self
  of most all my possessions,
  and now fit all I owned
  into a small room.

In the two years prior to that,
  I engaged in an intensive practice of
  'clearing and cleansing',
  sitting in silence,
  listening for the voice
  of wisdom inside my self,
  witnessing as, one by one,
  the stories I had crafted
  about my life
  presented themselves
  for examination
  from a new perspective,
  a perspective I didn't yet understand,
  but one nonetheless that would
  ultimately free me from
  the myths that kept my spirit
  imprisoned and earth-bound.

I watched as those myths
  were dissolved, sometimes
  with fire, sometimes in a flash,
  sometimes in a hush...
  but always,
  with a gentle compassion and love
  for my person and my soul embodied.

It felt as if I had been scrubbed from
  the inside out.
  I sensed what it was like
  to live free from my old stories,
  and saw how the space cleared
  in my heart enlivened
  the creation of new stories
  of love and compassion,
  possibilities and purpose.

The cleansing and clearing
  is not over.
  I sense it is a lifetime
  endeavor,
  daily practice
  punctuated by mountaintop journeys,
  moments of clarity and epiphany
  emerging from a seeming morass of confusion...

But always,
  a journey of the soul embodied
  to experience, to learn, to heal,
  to find beauty in one self
  and to offer that beauty back
  to life.

I AM; I Do

I AM
  so much more than any role
  I will ever play
  in this life.

Ego looks for self definition,
  "I am a writer."
  "I am a social scientist."
  "I am a mother."
  "I am a lover."
  "I am a seeker..."

But, that very definition
  delimits the whole
  of who
  I AM,
  confining a being of God
  to a small, rigid box.

So, I embarked on a journey
  to teach my self
  how to leave
  I AM
  to the vast unknown
  and rather,
  describe how I engage my time.

I do...
  I write,
  I study,
  I parent,
  I love,
  I practice...

I AM

There is Gnosis

There is gnosis...the knowing that
  emerges from within.

Then there is integration...the journey
  upon which gnosis invites one
  to set foot.

While gnosis is able
  to circumvent one's person
  and emerge without toil,
  integration must necessarily
  include
  one's person.

And therein lies the challenge.

The wisdom that seems so simple,
  so logical, so self-evident,
  dangles as a precious gem
  just outside the
  limited reach of one's person.

Yet, it is not for the pleasure
  of epiphany
  that gnosis is given.

No, it is given as an invitation to
  integrate that wisdom
  into one's daily walk.

'What', we are asked, 'do these words mean?'
  'not in theory, no.'
  'rather, in your life, today, tomorrow...?'

Gnosis is also the harbinger of
  the challenges
  lined up in service of one's learning.

The discomfort, the angst, the frustration,
  the confusion...these are all signs
  that we are face-to-face
  with an invitation to learn
  right now
  what these words
  can, shall,
  mean in our lives.

So, take heart,
  hold fast to the belief
  that gnosis and integration
  are here for you,
  for your soul's growth and healing.

And, step into the unknown...

Namaste

Today, I want to write, but time and 'this world' commitments

  re-direct my energies.

So, until I can align my call to spirit with my duties in this life,

  I just want to say,

Namaste to you all!

I have had the honor to meet people 

  from around the world

  in this little cyberspace.

Namaste

  I see you

  I honor you

  

I thank you

Columbia, Bulgaria, Malaysia, Ukraine, Thailand, South Korea, the UK, Germany,
Viet Nam, Denmark, Russia, Brazil, Taiwan, Philippines, Hungary, Latvia,
the Netherlands, Denmark, the US, Norway, Israel, Australia, India, France,
Indonesia, Sweden, China, Egypt, Singapore, Tunisia

Set Loose the Light Upon the World

The words of hate and fear
  fall so readily from our lips,
  as if a dark spirit
  trapped inside our souls
  demands to be set loose
  so to spread its ugly seed
  upon the world.

The words are uttered
  almost without thought,
  followed by a 'knowing' look
  or a laugh of derision,
  and the unspoken challenge
   to assert ones separation from the accused,
   to join the
   'I'm not one of them' club.

And, so the 'other' is created
  from words spoken out of ignorance
  and fear,
  from our need to be
  accepted
  and our willingness to
  sacrifice the 'other'
  so to win that acceptance.

Yet, contempt breeds contempt.
  Like a viscious bacteria,
  fed by the warm, liquid environment
  of fear and intolerance,
  the dark spirit gains strength.

And,
  this dark spirit is an
  equal opportunity scourge.

The words, so finely sharpened
  and directed at the 'other'
  can, without cause or warning,
  be directed toward oneself.

And now,
  all the hard work of complicity
  against the 'other'
  matters not,
  for it is oneself
  who stands behind the barriers
  of intolerance, and watches
  as others collude to build it
  so high that they
  never
  have to bear witness,
  or take responsibility,
  for the anguish
  their words create
  in our lives.

These words,
  spoken often enough
  and by a critical mass
  of people
  harden into the bitter shell
  of prejudice,
  providing safety to the
  fear and intolerance
  hidden therein.

From whence does hate arise?
  Why does enmity thrive in this human animal?
  How can we transform this dark spirit
  into the love and light
  we each yearn to experience
  in our own lives?

Perhaps, one step can be
  to bear witness to the
  dark spirit that strives
  to make itself known
  through our own words.

Perhaps another step could be
  to focus our energies on
  understanding this dark spirit
  within ourselves,
  to love it and heal it,
  to transform it to light
  through love...

and then,
  to set loose that light
  upon the world,
  one word at a time.

My Fear, A Friend

It would be misleading to imply
  that my heart is free from fear.

In fact, fear tries ever so valiantly
  to be my constant companion,
  warning me of the dire consequences
  of this or that.

It has grown fangs and claws
  to put upon my body the
  pain it wreaks upon my spirit.

And, it has learned to catch me
  in the most fragile of moments,
  in the dark of night,
  when I endeavor to quiet my mind...

No, I do not live without fear.

I have learned, though, about my fear.
  I have witnessed the many aliases
  it assumes to divert my attention
  to its dire messages.

I have felt the scourge of it
  upon my body, and observed
  the forgery of 'reality' it claims
  as it twists my thoughts to its purpose.

I am learning my fear,
  developing awareness of it
  in the moments it strives to obscure
  itself behind 'rational' thought
  or crush my chest in the panic
  it spreads.

And, as I learn my fear,
  it loses its power over me.
  I can see it for what it is, and
  know that it is my choice about
  what comes next.

I can love it, thank it for its
  everpresent watchfulness for
  my safety and its creative endeavors
  to direct my attention to the dangers.

And

I can reassure it that all is okay,
  that I am aware of the danger,
  that I am safe,
  that there is a path forward,
  that I am being guided to walk that path...

Then,
  assured that it has accomplished its purpose,
  it can rest,
  albeit with eyes open
  and senses atuned to danger...
  ready always
  to alert and protect.

My fear,
  a friend
  but not
  the end.

Every Thought, Every Action

He was there even as I settled into meditation,
  waiting for me.

He held my hands, looked into my eyes,
  quieted my spirit.

The illness tore at my lungs,
  burning and squeezing.

He is a teacher.
  He wants me to learn to heal.

Holding my hand, we reached
  into my lungs,
  searching for the red,
  gathering it into my hand
  and pulling it away.

Sitting, quiet, gentle.
  Crossing the field to material reality,
  he brought my hand to my chest.
  I saw the red energy gather in my hand.

I used my other hand to gently surround
  the red, energetc ball.
  It spit fire and jagged, chaotic lightening,
  trying to escape the bounds of my hands
  and the cool, white energy surrounding it.

But, I held it and peered into the
  molecular dance,
  witnessed the cool energy
  pierce the brittle skin of the red cells,
  watched as the cells turned from red to black
  and grew quiet.

Then, gradually, quietly, the cool energy
  breathed white light into the cells,
  infusing them with rich, life energy
  and transforming black into light.

'This is the lesson,'  he said.
  'Every thought, every action.'
  'Every thought, every action.'

Every Thought, Every Action...Once Again

'Every Thought, Every Action.'
  This was the lesson he offered me.

And, as is so often the case,
  I look back on that revelation,
  wondering what exactly it means.

So, now begins the exploration.
  What, I wonder, did my spirit guide
  mean for me to learn?

He was teaching me to heal myself...
  No..
  Perhaps, he was in fact teaching me
  about healing.

He showed me healing as it occured,
  the dance between cells burdened by sickness
  and those bathed in the energy of pure white light.

I watched as, one by one, the cells engaged in a dance
  of healing.
  Slowly, methodically, the cells of life
  transformed the sick.

Even as the sick fought their own healing,
  they could not help but
  to finally succumb to the light,
  to be transformed,
  to join the tide of healing.

And hence, the lesson.
  'Every Thought, Every Action'

If, indeed, we create reality through
  our deeds, and especially via our thoughts,
  then, each action, each thought,
  can either heal or hurt.

Our choice.

Imagine if we could all learn to
  bear witness to our own actions and thoughts,
  consciously transform them from dark to light,
  each day, each one of us, each moment.

Imagine the world we could create!

There is no doubt about it...
  We are creating this world,
  whether consciously or not.

We are creating it.
   So, the question remains.

What shall we create?

Learning to Walk

Yesterday, during meditation, a new spirit guide came to me.  
He sat directly in front of me and willed me to look into his eyes.  
As I did, I fell more and more deeply until I was floating in the universe, 
  feeling the All.  

He took my hands, and immediately I felt the energy coursing into my palms.
He felt the fear that tries to reside in my heart and suddenly
 the White Wolf was sitting directly behind me, 
 using his strength to hold me up.  

Then, the new spirit guide held a coat of white wolf fur which he laid across my back,
  warming me and instilling peacefulness where there had been fear.

I asked for healing and direction.  
He waved his hands over my body, covering it in an energetic blanket.
I started to control my breathing, but he told me to just relax and allow the healing.

He then moved my breath through me.  
As it came out, he collected it in his hands.  
It was red, but as he held it, it changed to white and then dispersed into the air.  
As I breathed in, he supplemented my breath with his own
  and I felt white, cleansing energy rush through my body.  

After a bit, he reached in to my lungs and held them.  
I could feel as he searched and then found the illness.  
He pulled it out - again it was red
  and again, he cleansed it and it dispersed into the air.  
This he did several times with my lungs, and then with my sinuses.

I was sitting quietly when I realized I felt no pain in my body, 
  and I had been sitting quietly for some time.

I don't know my direction yet.  
My work, I believe, is to continue to cleanse and clear, 
  to re-establish a healthy lifestyle, 
  to reach out to whatever opportunities appear
  and to listen carefully for the voice of God inside me.  

I put a series of three pics on facebook a couple weeks back, 
  representing the past, the future and the now.  
The third picture is of a  monk in red robes, walking.  
That picture is very powerful to me.  
For some years, I have been seeing myself (in journeys) as that monk. 

I realize this morning that
I don't know the path.  
But, I believe I am learning how to walk.

The Path I Walk

Sometimes, the beauty is so overwhelming.
The syncronicity...astonishing...

from finding a blanket laying on the floor,
  the very one I was missing for my sacred space;

to a room with an alcove for my work and meditation;
  with colors that perfectly match my spirit;

to lots of alone time in a beautiful house;

to bringing a light to my friend
  and sharing some bit of life with him;

to all the lights turning green as I drive
  to a meeting to explore how I might work in Liberia...

Little things,
  and peculiar to my specific life circumstance,

but so many of them,
  and so continuous.

Never before have I felt so in the 'right flow' with life.
  Admonitions to look ever forward
  and reminders that the past is just that
  the past
  and no more.

The path is before me,
  and I am alight on that path,
  one foot in front of the other...