Grant Me Courage for the Journey, Please

I am waiting God,
  for the next invitation.
  I am here to serve, to offer whatever I have
  to life
  in gratitude for all I have been given.

I am watching, striving to remain open,
  to not let fear blind me or push me into rash decisions.

It is hard though.
  'Reality' isn't always kind
  or understanding with one who
  is seeking to give of herself
  to the Divine flow of life.

'Reality' demands things...
  sustenace for the body,
  shelter, warmth from the cold,
  care in one's age.

These demands create in me a mix
  of fear; a 'requirement' to be responsible;
  a wish to not make myself a burden to others;
  a concern that walking this path
  will leave me vulnerable
  to the vagaries of this life.

I watched my parents live in faith,
  following your calling,
  months passing with no income
  and suddenly an influx enough to keep them
  safe and warm
  and to provide for their children.

Such a solid, unwavering faith they had,
  a faith that I find difficult to maintain,
  especially when I don't see
  how I can continue this path and not fall
  into destitute poverty.

Do I keep my eyes forward,
  stepping once again into the unknown,
  living in total faith
  that the path will be revealed
  and my safety secured?

Or do I 'be responsible'
  and take action to facilitate
  my own safety...
  food on the table,
  shelter for my aging body,
  retirement for the elder that will
  soon be me?

Each time I reach this impasse in my soul,
  I choose to let go and follow.
  But each time I arrive again at this place,
  I am a little older
  and a little more concerned.

This now is my prayer,
  to be given discernment and courage
  as I once again
  stand on the precipice of the unknown,
  feel the wind against my face
    but not yet under my feet,
  sense my calling is only just begun
    yet feel so very vulnerable.