Spirit - My Teacher

Yesterday, I spent some time reading about Chakras
  as part of my search to understand my experience
  with Kundalini rising.

I read a section on cleansing and vitalizing the Chakras
  and moving the Kundalini energy.
  I had particular problems with moving the Kundalini energy
  leading to much pain and emotional trauma.

As I read, I noted the various chakras on my seven bodies that
  have felt out-of-balance in the past.
  One in particular caught my attention.
  It is the seat of the most profound trauma
    I have experienced in this lifetime.
  It is the epi-center of probably the most significant
    lesson I incarnated to learn.

I remembered that during the Kundalini rising,
  the energy always got stuck on that chakra,
  was not able to rise above that point.
  So, it broiled and burned,
    creating emotional turmoil and severe physical pain.

Before dawn, I awoke with the realization that I
  need to cleanse that Chakra,
  to open it so that I can move forward in life
  and allow the Kundalini to flow.

So, I followed that cleansing practice.
  I could feel the energy moving,
    felt it coming out of my body into my hand.
  I directed it outward and upward,
    and watched as a dark sludge built up
    on my aura.
  But, there was something stuck just below my skin.
  I could not get it out.

I remember thinking that I needed to cleanse my aura
  of the sludge, but fell asleep.

A few hours later, I awoke with a migraine,
  remembered I hadn't cleansed the sludge from my aura,
  and realized I had forgotten to burn it from my chakra.

And, I had an epiphany.
  In the material world, I am looking for work.
  These last months, I have written multiple cover letters
    describing in detail my qualifications for
    various jobs.

First, I realized that, on a spiritual level,
  I drew this situation to me
  to play, over and again, a cycle
    finely tuned to the storyline I have created
    for myself regarding my life trauma/lesson.

Namely, the cover letters describing my qualifications
  aren't really for the unknown readers to whom I send them.
  They are for me,
    to convince me that I am worthy.

And, I keep playing the story over and again
  because I don't really believe
  that which I am expending all my effort
  to convince myself of.

And, the second realization...
  I am spending all my time and energy
  endeavoring to convince myself of my worth,
  and none on manifesting the reality into which I want to move!!!

smiling

Something inside me switched with that realization.
  I focused on manifesting the reality I want to create.
  As I fell back to sleep, I was visualizing being
  happy and fulfilled in my career and life...

I was awoken sometime later by a phone call.
  It was a professor from a university to which I had applied.
  He asked me for an interview.