'Damn you!' shouted the old woman quaking in her chair. 'How dare you steal the life from a young woman! Who the hell do you think you are, pronouncing judgment on the innocent and guileless youth who dares to love?!'
Shaking violently, the old woman endeavored to quiet herself. 'Just what they would want...' she chided herself, 'for me to die right here so the truth won't be told! They can't kill me that easily!' she laughed and then coughed, 'but I can kill myself if I don't calm down!'
Smiling, she set again to the gentle rock that soothed her soul...and sometimes put her to sleep. She was, after all, near 100 and she deserved to sleep when she damn well pleased!
'So, where was I?' she asked upon waking. 'Oh right. I am here to tell this story, to let all hear it. For it is not just the story of one girl. It is the story of many, so many, that suffer at the hands of fear and ignorance feigned as authority and wisdom. And, somewhere, somehow it must end!'
Silence filled the room, disrupted only by the quiet creaking of the rocker in motion. Her eyes clouded with memories of a distant past.
'The community was overjoyed when they heard of her birth! I remember that day like it was yesterday! Like a princess, she entered this world...all gooky, of course. And, her cry filled the room near as powerful as the presence of her soul. Most didn't see her soul, but me, well I see these things. Never mind you, how. I just do.'
'Her father was one of my favorite human beings. He was a gentle soul, wearing the simple garb of a country pastor. "My princess" were the first words out of his mouth...that is, when he was finally able to speak. And her mother, what an angel! Any woman who could push out a screaming baby and then take it to her breast is crown royalty in my book!'
'Outside the room, there was excited whispering, and the women were running to the phones to get word out to the congregation. The Pastor's family had grown by one beautiful girl! Me and the girl's spirit watched all the commotion for awhile. And then, she bid me adieu. She had a life to live here.'
'So was born Loveworthy on that warm summer day. She was the apple in her father's eye. Could do no wrong, that one. Course, he wasn't home during the day when she stripped off the dresses sewed by her mother and donned pants and tennies..."Better to climb trees with" she called to her frustrated mother.'
'I swear that girl had more cuts and bruises than her big brothers...part cuz she was always trying to keep up with them, and part cuz she believed there was no tree she couldn't climb. Worried her momma sick, that girl did.'
'Now, don't you fret. I'm not going to tell the whole lifestory of Loveworthy...not just yet, anyway. But, I did want to share one thing about that girl spirit.'
'She was raised in a faith community in a small town way out in the hinterlands. Her parents being the Pastor and Pastor's wife and all, they were like celebrities in that town. They were deeply religious, them folk. And, they looked to her father for sage advice about all manner of things. Her mother was the belle of the town, leading the women's groups, playing the organ for the church choir, baking the goods for the potlucks on Sunday afternoons.'
'Did I tell you the town was way off in the hinterlands? It was so far off, word of the outside world arrived there decades after the events passed. Loveworthy used to joke that her brothers introduced the 60s into the town during the 70s. Residents didn't pay heed to the workings of the outside world though. There were crops to sow and cattle to milk.'
'And, Loveworthy, well she escaped all the adult hullaballo as quickly as possible and retreated to her favorite hiding places deep in the bowels of the church. I couldn't tell ya for certain where they were cuz I was old, even back then! But, she told me stories of her adventures.'
'Like the one of her friend, Wayne. Wayne, she told me, lived in the attic above the sanctuary. Now, Wayne would sit on an old chair up there. Loveworthy swore to this. Course, she never actually saw him. Seems he was always away when she ventured up there. But, she declared she had solid evidence. The surface of the chair and the arms never had dust on them, but the sloping sides always did have dust! That, she swore, was how she knew about Wayne. Sometimes, she and her little brother would hear noises up there and come scurrying down, all outa breath and excited about their "near-encounter" with Wayne.'
'The church was her second home, and she knew every inch of it, specially cuz she could crawl into the smallest, most out-of-the-way places. And, she knew all the people - they were all like her aunts and uncles and cuzins...you have a lot of them when you are the Pastor's daughter...nearly everyone in town!'
'But wait, I was gonna tell you this thing about Loveworthy. Her daddy worked long hours, many times deep into the night. So, after her momma tucked her in, she would wait in the dark for him to come home. And when he did, she would have private conversations with him, exploring faith and philosophy and life and the universe... Those moments, she treasured above all others. All day, she would save her questions about life to share with him. He was her first hero. She, his princess.'
'She figured out early on about people who preached "good stuff" and then did "bad stuff" when others weren't looking. "Those people act like they are better than everyone else," she would say. "But, they aren't. Like that guy. He preaches all about love on Sunday, but I see how he treats his family. That's not right. He's fake."
'Likewise, she figured out the difference between knowledge and wisdom. I think it was all those nights talking with her daddy taught her that. "Wisdom", she told me "is what I want. I like knowledge, yeah. I want knowledge too. But, I really want wisdom."'
'She wanted three things in life, to be one with her God, to be a good person, and to grow wise like her daddy. So she set about searching for wisdom. She turned to the greatest source of wisdom she knew, the Bible. She read it every night, talked with her daddy about it, attended Sunday School, listened as best a kid can to the sermons on Sunday, and read the Bible some more.'
'When she got to be 12-years-old, her daddy and momma gave her a special Bible. It had been developed especially for teenagers. It was a proud day for her as she was nigh on being a grownup teenager! And, now she had a Bible that spoke cool teenage language, not that strange language all the old people spoke.'
'She poured over that Bible, seeking wisdom, absorbing the words, melding her self to fit the ideas, shaping her thoughts to match... It was her quest. It was her life. She believed everything she read in that Bible. It was, after all, "the Word of God". "How", she asked "could there ever be anything better than the Word of God to learn wisdom?" She had it from the Source. And, she stuck to it like glue.'
'Now, that's what I wanted to tell you all. Because, that's the stage for what happened later in her life. But, I'm tired now, so I'm going to rest. Later, I'll tell you more.'
'You, with your cars and toys, and rules! You know nothing of love. You know nothing of compassion. You know only your own fear and ignorance. Yes, ignorance! And, don't you dare tell me to quiet down! The gods will not smite me! I am older than most of them!'
Shaking violently, the old woman endeavored to quiet herself. 'Just what they would want...' she chided herself, 'for me to die right here so the truth won't be told! They can't kill me that easily!' she laughed and then coughed, 'but I can kill myself if I don't calm down!'
Smiling, she set again to the gentle rock that soothed her soul...and sometimes put her to sleep. She was, after all, near 100 and she deserved to sleep when she damn well pleased!
'So, where was I?' she asked upon waking. 'Oh right. I am here to tell this story, to let all hear it. For it is not just the story of one girl. It is the story of many, so many, that suffer at the hands of fear and ignorance feigned as authority and wisdom. And, somewhere, somehow it must end!'
Silence filled the room, disrupted only by the quiet creaking of the rocker in motion. Her eyes clouded with memories of a distant past.
'The community was overjoyed when they heard of her birth! I remember that day like it was yesterday! Like a princess, she entered this world...all gooky, of course. And, her cry filled the room near as powerful as the presence of her soul. Most didn't see her soul, but me, well I see these things. Never mind you, how. I just do.'
'Her father was one of my favorite human beings. He was a gentle soul, wearing the simple garb of a country pastor. "My princess" were the first words out of his mouth...that is, when he was finally able to speak. And her mother, what an angel! Any woman who could push out a screaming baby and then take it to her breast is crown royalty in my book!'
'Outside the room, there was excited whispering, and the women were running to the phones to get word out to the congregation. The Pastor's family had grown by one beautiful girl! Me and the girl's spirit watched all the commotion for awhile. And then, she bid me adieu. She had a life to live here.'
'So was born Loveworthy on that warm summer day. She was the apple in her father's eye. Could do no wrong, that one. Course, he wasn't home during the day when she stripped off the dresses sewed by her mother and donned pants and tennies..."Better to climb trees with" she called to her frustrated mother.'
'I swear that girl had more cuts and bruises than her big brothers...part cuz she was always trying to keep up with them, and part cuz she believed there was no tree she couldn't climb. Worried her momma sick, that girl did.'
'Now, don't you fret. I'm not going to tell the whole lifestory of Loveworthy...not just yet, anyway. But, I did want to share one thing about that girl spirit.'
'She was raised in a faith community in a small town way out in the hinterlands. Her parents being the Pastor and Pastor's wife and all, they were like celebrities in that town. They were deeply religious, them folk. And, they looked to her father for sage advice about all manner of things. Her mother was the belle of the town, leading the women's groups, playing the organ for the church choir, baking the goods for the potlucks on Sunday afternoons.'
'Did I tell you the town was way off in the hinterlands? It was so far off, word of the outside world arrived there decades after the events passed. Loveworthy used to joke that her brothers introduced the 60s into the town during the 70s. Residents didn't pay heed to the workings of the outside world though. There were crops to sow and cattle to milk.'
'And, Loveworthy, well she escaped all the adult hullaballo as quickly as possible and retreated to her favorite hiding places deep in the bowels of the church. I couldn't tell ya for certain where they were cuz I was old, even back then! But, she told me stories of her adventures.'
'Like the one of her friend, Wayne. Wayne, she told me, lived in the attic above the sanctuary. Now, Wayne would sit on an old chair up there. Loveworthy swore to this. Course, she never actually saw him. Seems he was always away when she ventured up there. But, she declared she had solid evidence. The surface of the chair and the arms never had dust on them, but the sloping sides always did have dust! That, she swore, was how she knew about Wayne. Sometimes, she and her little brother would hear noises up there and come scurrying down, all outa breath and excited about their "near-encounter" with Wayne.'
'The church was her second home, and she knew every inch of it, specially cuz she could crawl into the smallest, most out-of-the-way places. And, she knew all the people - they were all like her aunts and uncles and cuzins...you have a lot of them when you are the Pastor's daughter...nearly everyone in town!'
'But wait, I was gonna tell you this thing about Loveworthy. Her daddy worked long hours, many times deep into the night. So, after her momma tucked her in, she would wait in the dark for him to come home. And when he did, she would have private conversations with him, exploring faith and philosophy and life and the universe... Those moments, she treasured above all others. All day, she would save her questions about life to share with him. He was her first hero. She, his princess.'
'She figured out early on about people who preached "good stuff" and then did "bad stuff" when others weren't looking. "Those people act like they are better than everyone else," she would say. "But, they aren't. Like that guy. He preaches all about love on Sunday, but I see how he treats his family. That's not right. He's fake."
'Likewise, she figured out the difference between knowledge and wisdom. I think it was all those nights talking with her daddy taught her that. "Wisdom", she told me "is what I want. I like knowledge, yeah. I want knowledge too. But, I really want wisdom."'
'She wanted three things in life, to be one with her God, to be a good person, and to grow wise like her daddy. So she set about searching for wisdom. She turned to the greatest source of wisdom she knew, the Bible. She read it every night, talked with her daddy about it, attended Sunday School, listened as best a kid can to the sermons on Sunday, and read the Bible some more.'
'When she got to be 12-years-old, her daddy and momma gave her a special Bible. It had been developed especially for teenagers. It was a proud day for her as she was nigh on being a grownup teenager! And, now she had a Bible that spoke cool teenage language, not that strange language all the old people spoke.'
'She poured over that Bible, seeking wisdom, absorbing the words, melding her self to fit the ideas, shaping her thoughts to match... It was her quest. It was her life. She believed everything she read in that Bible. It was, after all, "the Word of God". "How", she asked "could there ever be anything better than the Word of God to learn wisdom?" She had it from the Source. And, she stuck to it like glue.'
'Now, that's what I wanted to tell you all. Because, that's the stage for what happened later in her life. But, I'm tired now, so I'm going to rest. Later, I'll tell you more.'
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