For every corner I round,
there awaits a corner dark;
bidding me forward,
a lure, irresistible as it is terrifying;
gripping my heart,
at once,
with fear and fascination…
It’s dark,
everywhere I look,
only dark.
And I,
alone in this dark,
feel no walls about me,
no floor beneath my feet.
Nor do stars shine upon me.
Suspended in nothing
dark
deafening quiet
Where is this place?
How did I get here?
Is there an ‘out there’
to which I can escape?
I am called, once again,
to another dark corner of my soul.
There is a being there in the dark.
It begs of me,
‘Bring your light.
Illuminate my sorrow.
Tell me that I am beauty unborn.
For I fear my own light;
I fear my light may not shine;
I fear there may not be, after all,
a light that is me.’
And so I stay hidden
in the dark --
the dark that is your own soul --
withering, emaciated and drawn
from self deprivation
and every kind of
self loathing you can imagine for me…
Yes, I did mean “you
can imagine for me”.
For, I am you.
You are me.
Can you not see?
Together we hide in
this darkness
of our making.
Together, we contrive
stories
of fear and vengeance
in this darkness.
Together, we shirk
from life;
finding solace in
non-movement, in
false gods of
‘security’ and ‘comfort’.
Together, we create
dark
so that we don’t have to see
that which blinds us,
confuses our senses,
upsets our precarious balance,
in this pitiful
existence.
Don’t turn away!
Don’t grasp at your
clichés!
Face me!
Know me!
I am You!
Dare you examine the
dark?
Dare you see me in you?
Dare you find your
light?
If you dare, I
forewarn you,
your choice will be but
to wallow or grow.
And while both will be
painful,
only one will bring the familiar
numbness that makes it
all so palatable.
Turn out the
light - again, forever –
Absolve yourself of
this messy thing – life.
Be done.
Drift, now, away into
nonfeeling, nonexistence
with me.
Oh my God! say I.
That can’t be me!
Such words of malice and
discontent!
Dis-ease within my own soul!
Be gone you!
There is a reason you hide in the dark.
There is a reason I keep you there.
Your words are poison, your countenance ugly,
your knowledge deadly.
You are not me;
rather some monster rising from the
depths
to threaten me, create fear.
You are a nightmare
striking at a defenseless soul.
Your grip is as a tyrant,
avaricious, malevolent!
Marauding as my soul!
How dare you!
I am not…
Not…
I am…
I…
‘You are…
What?’
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