I Don't Understand

26 January 2011

I keep hearing that this existence is an illusion,
  is a creation of God, the All, whatever name one calls upon.

We are all God, the All.
  We are 'God incarnate'.
  We are one.

We are here to experience, to witness.

Everything is perfect, just as it is.

Try as I might, however,
  I don't understand.

The question that tore through my soul as a child,
  that I have been trying to put aside to understand this way of thinking,
  demands to be heard, demands a witness.

For it cries out not just from my soul,
  but from countless other souls,
  desperately trying to grasp the meaning of
  the horror in their deaths,
  the unspeakable ways in which other
  'Gods Incarnate' murdered them.

Worse still is the crying of souls embodied,
  the horror of waking another day into a perpetual nightmare,
  unrelenting agony,
  never, never a moment of peace,
  never a loving hand upon their broken bodies.

What is this experiment!?

Is it necessary for the Creator to experience horror
  in order to experience compassion?

Is this the ritualistic offering to our own ascension?

What is this?!

I don't understand.

No simple answers.
  Please.

No pat answers.

No escape into pondering what's wrong with the one who dares to question.

We stand in the presence of tears,
  of broken hearts,
  of eyes haunted.

I don't know the answer.
  I don't even know the questions anymore.
  But I feel the tears - everywhere.

Perhaps the first flood was made from God's tears.
  Surely, the next will run from our own.