Growth

Had a dream

There was a major theatrical production happening.
  The person made me the producer.

Before I could explain that I didn't know anything
  about producing,
  he left.

There were people everywhere,
  intent on creating this production,
  each with hir own role,
  well rehearsed.

All taking positions now so familiar,
  chatting with friends won through
  days and nights 'on stage'.

None, nothing
  was familiar to me,
  yet I was the Producer.

So, I stepped into the swirl
  of activity, watching all who
  seemed not aware of, or concerned with,
  my presence.

I thought to offer a competition,
  to build some comradarie.  I interrupted the flow
  to announce the competition and went
  to the woman who had the book of questions.
  But, she closed it, refusing my request,
  challenging my authority or even
  my right to be there.

I went back to the people and told
  them it would be just a minute.
  They resumed their activities
  without hesitation, and I found
  my own question for the competition.

So it continued throughout the day,
  people angry at my presence,
  unwilling to accept my role,
  turning away offers of friendship.

But, I realized somewhere in the middle of all this
  that I was handling each situation well.
  I was finding my way through.
  I was not internalizing their anger.
  I was not becoming their rejection.

I was solid in my own sense of
  self worth;
  clear about who I am;
  intent on fulfilling this new role in the best
  way I could;
  open, always open, to potential heart
  openings;
  and okay with wherever people
  were on their own paths.

I was okay.
  I am okay.