20 May 2011
It's strange, Dragonfly,
Though excitement and happiness fill the landscape around me,
there enters quietly a deep sadness,
asking me to fall into it.
I can not go there.
I am preparing to leave everything and everyone I know,
on a journey to which I committed so very long ago,
and not just to myself, but to God.
I must go. I am called.
There, really, is no choice,
not if I am to be who I am supposed to be
in this life.
I think the sadness emanates from that place
of saying 'goodbye'...again.
Though my love for all of you will remain always,
we will not be in each other's daily lives.
We will walk our own paths.
With all of you, that is a painful future in my heart,
but with my children, it is extremely difficult.
Still, I must go.
So, I cannot let myself fall into the sadness
as it has the power to stop me from fulfilling my destiny.
I need to find a way to love you all
and still respond to this sacred commitment
I made to God.
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