March 2010
Each day, that which is
growing between us
gradually
reveals itself to me;
almost
as if my mind/heart cannot absorb
it more
quickly, but must,
become
aware slowly.
I sense a need to stay clear
within myself
about
my wishes and desires
and
that which wants to be – in reality.
I can so easily fill in the
blanks of the unfinished sentence.
My
desires transform quietly into my expectations
of
how this is ‘supposed to go’,
and
what you are ‘supposed to be or feel’.
And
from there, it is a short fall
into
a downward spiral of seeing only what I want to see,
failing
to honor what is real,
and
the inevitable frustration and anger
at
the loss of ‘what was supposed to be’.
This is my prayer,
the
intention I set for myself.
I
truly want to honor you for exactly
who
you are and choose to be…
I have learned that my words
slide effortlessly
from
my fingers onto the page.
I
can sense wisdom and transform it into verse.
But,
I hope you will remember,
these
words are the vision of who I want to be,
the
lessons I need to learn,
the
goals toward which I strive,
the
wisdom I seek to integrate into my being.
I sense that this union with
you,
however
it ends up being defined,
offers
gifts of profound measure.
Already, I can see that your
presence in my life is
challenging
me to grow in new ways;
offering
me opportunities to practice new found wisdom and skills;
asking
me to love in the face of fear...
There is a great deal of
risk in this
relationship
for
me, and you as well.
I
want to learn how to recognize fear responses in myself,
to
honor them,
and
to NOT let them rule my life.
I pray that I find a way to
stay
present with you with an open heart,
an
agile mind,
a
creative spirit,
and
a faith that spirit is guiding us
toward
something that is life-giving
to
us both.
I pray that I can love you
unabashedly
and courageously
in
the face of uncertainty and fear,
and
that I can learn to celebrate
that
which grows between us,
however it defines itself.
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