Comfort on the Journey

11 October 2011

Journeyed...

'Who am I when I am living fully in my truth?' I ask.

In return, 'What is your truth?'

'To give of myself to those who are oppressed...
  and to my children.'

A god dressed in gold and crimson appears before me.
  He has eight arms, all moving in synchronicity,
  doing everything simultaneously.
  It is amazing to see him accomplish so much
  just sitting there!

Then, I look at myself and see only two arms.
  I am disappointed, discouraged.

'You can't do it all.  You are just human.
  You can not be all things to all people'.

A path of white sand appears before me, moving off
  into the distance.
  I know it is mine, but I am not supposed to be walking.

'Who am I when I am walking fully in my truth?
  What is my truth?
  What is my truth?'

'Stay focused, pull your energy in,
  renew it through meditation,
  stay centered,
  stay focused.'

Reaction - mine - my own fears, insecurities, disbelief -
  raise their heads, ready to lash out at me,
  deride me, smash me into a million pieces,
  steal my dream,
  devour my hope.

Ohm mani padme hum
Ohm mani padme hum
Ohm mani padme hum

Compassion, love

'You have seen the darkness inside your self.
  Gather the courage to witness it in full
  so that you may grow in wisdom.

Witness, be still, witness.
  Don't analyze or move to solutions.
  Dare to be a full and honest witness to
  that which exists in your darkness.

Perhaps, you have become attached
  to the terrors that hide in your darkness.
  In that attachment, you give them your power.
  Witness the attachment.

Witness.'

I step into the darkness.

The emaciated, angry spirit therein
  has been raised from its slumber
  and awaits in gluttonous hunger.

Seething, chanting,
  'You can't, you aren't, you won't, how dare you?!'
  'You are a failure.  You are a disappointment.'

Frightened, falling, falling,
  deeper into the abyss;
  the vicious scream of the spirit
  forever laughing in my head.

I land at the bottom of the never-ending abyss
  and see there the ultimate failure...

I have failed God.
  I have wasted my life.
  I have left my calling unfulfilled...

Lost in a profusion of
  self loathing,
  disgust, disappointment, shame.

'Be still and know that I Am.'

Falling, falling, captured by my own self loathing...

'Be still and know that I Am.'

  Be still
  Be still
  Ohm mani padme hum
  Ohm mani padme hum

'Be who you want to be,
  Follow your path.
  Do what you will.
  You can NEVER disappoint me.

Be still and know that I Am.
  I Am
  I Am
  I Am
  You Are...

What you do or don't...doesn't matter.
  Who you are or not...doesn't matter.
  All that matters it that 
  You Are.

Because You Are,
  I love you.
  You can never 
  disappoint me.'

Ohm mani padme hum
Ohm mani padme hum
Ohm mani padme hum

'Know that I Am.
  Know that You Are.'

Ohm mani padme hum
Ohm mani padme hum